FEMCUS

Sally and Solly Stump had made their minds up long before they were married.  But 
to tell the truth, Sally was the deciding influence.  Actually, she didn’t want 
to bear children.  Not that she hated kids.  No.  The idea of getting pregnant 
turned her off.  She was in the prime of life.

Physically, Sally was very attractive and she was very involved with her career.  
She had seen what bearing children had done to some of her friends.  Stretch 
marks, sagging breasts, not to mention that she’d have to put her career on hold.  
After many soul-searching discussions that nearly covered the whole two years 
of their courtship, the Stumps finally decided.  Children?  Yes.  Pregnancy?  
No.

Yes, they were going to have their child, but not in the time-worn way that Mother 
Nature had provided.  They would have their child using the modern Frankel method. 
With this (pardon the pun) concept, the couple would be taken from its mother and 
transplanted into a portable pregnancy processor called a “Bubble.”  This process 
was developed by Dr. Hyman Frankel and the first Bubble baby was born in the 
spring of 1997.  In the eight years since Frankel’s concept was introduced, 
the most dramatic changes that have taken place in the process have been in 
the method of inducing and transplanting.  The Bubble has remained virtually 
the same.

The original Frankel method left a lot to be desired.  The women had to first 
submit to a major Fallopian by-pass operation and have a sub-processor attached 
to the outside of her body.  At the time of ovulation, she would place some of 
her husband’s semen in it and wait for gestation to take place.  It was a hit 
and miss operation and in the early years there had even been a divorce case 
where the husband charged that his wife had used a lover’s semen in place of his 
own.  But whatever the case, after a strong union between the sperm and egg had 
taken place, the sub-processor would be removed and transplanted into the Bubble 
till the pregnancy cycle was completed and the new baby removed.    It was a very 
primitive process and besides being susceptible to tampering, it had to frequently 
be aborted because of staph infections.  

Today, practically all of the old hazards have been removed, but before we update, 
let’s look at Frankel’s portable pregnancy processor; the unit that carries the 
fetus for the term of the pregnancy.  Technically, it is called a “FEMCUS,” 
(Frankel’s Electro Mechanical Computerized Uterine Simulator).  It is twenty-one 
and a half inches in diameter; it weights twenty-one and a half pounds.  It has 
three small protrusions that allows it to stand, a carrying handle on top a 
carrying strap, and a soft texturized foam covering that looks, feels, and smells 
like warm flesh.  Though it’s sometimes called a “Doll House,” natural birth 
advocates relgious activists and those who can’t afford the coat, call it “Hagar’s 
Hot House” after Sarah’s biblical surrogate.  It has an eight inch diameter
umbilical section where all the connections, meters, and switches are located.  
As for the connections, they include, electrical for normal operation while it 
keeps the emergency NIC-CAD batteries charged up, the feeder connection for 
filling the prescribed nutrients, a transfusion inlet for donor blood, an oxygen 
connection, an outlet for draining the waste which looks and smells like the real 
thing, and a VCR connection to record and view the progress of the fetus on a 
TV screen.  Completely disconnected, the fetus could survive for eight hours 
on the unit’s reserve.  As for the rest of the meters and switches, there’s no 
need to go into further detail other than to say that if you know how to operate 
a microwave oven with a digital readout, you’d have no trouble managing a Bubble.  

Now, as to the present day method of inducing and transplanting: Today, the 
original Fallopian By-pass method is considered obsolete.  The latest method 
uses a uterine insert that is tailored to the exact size and shape of the woman 
involved.  The fitting process is quite simple; it requires two simple out-patient 
visits.  On the first visit, the exact size and shape of the uterus is made with 
a computerized scanner.  On the second, the insert made to the scanner’s 
measurements, is placed into the woman’s womb.  The couple that resumes their 
normal sexual relationship until fertilization takes place on the wall of the 
uterine insert.  After pregnancy is confirmed, the gynecologist has three months 
time in which to make the transfer into the Bubble.  This is generally dependent 
on how long the mother wants to carry and the strength of the fetus.  Usually, 
the longer the carry, the stronger the fetus.

Sally and Solly had just returned home with their Bubble.  Sally had carried the 
full three months.  The transfer had been made a month ago.  It had taken only 
fifteen minutes but before the releasing the Bubble, the clinic required a month 
of intensive care so it could monitor and stabilize the transfer under controlled 
conditions.  

During that time, Mr. And Mrs. Stump had to attend many classes on how to take 
care of their Bubble and its precious cargo.  They also had to learn about all 
the new laws relating to abortion, criminal neglect, and infanticide.

The first thing Solly did when they got the Bubble home was to tie in all the 
life supports and plug it into the VCR.  He turned th TV on and they sat and 
watched the actual process of the creation as it was happening.  Then Sally 
got an idea.  They turned off all the lights and in the ethereal light of the 
TV screen, they made love.  Not for the sake of making love, but so they could 
experience making love while they watched the miracle of creation, a miracle 
that they had helped create.  It was one of the most meaningful love experiences 
of their married life.

It took the better part of another eight weeks before things got back to normal 
in the Stump house.  There was a constant parade of well-wishers, but not as much 
for wishing them well but to see the FEMCUS Bubble.  Solly was in his glory.  He 
never tired of recounting every minute detail of their experience and how the 
doctors had picked him to supply the blood.  “Can you imagine?” he’d shout.  “It’s 
my blood in that Bubble.”  The TV screen was on constantly, replaying the pictures 
of their fetus from day one to the present.  They were both very happy and 
couldn’t imagine why anyone would consider having a baby any other way.

By the time the seventh month rolled around the Bubble had become a normal part 
of the Stump household.  Solly would run it down to the clinic every six weeks 
for a checkup and blood reinforcement, then bring it back with new instructions 
and a new computer printout.  On one such visit, they had determined it was 
going to be a boy.  Acutally Sally and Solly had realized this a month earlier.  
On another visit, they found that the fetus was running a fever.  They prescribed 
medication and recalibrated the temperature readout for more accuracy.

As to their day to day experiences, the closest call they had was when Sally 
thought that Solly was checking the life supports and Solly thought that Sally 
was.   In the early months, they were pushing each other out of the way to do it. 
The fetus had almost starved to death before the beeper sounded.  Luckily, they 
were home at the time.  On another occasion, they left it in the sun too long, 
but luckily they were in earshot of the warningbeeper again and quickly retrieved 
it.  After that, they had a paging device installed – - just in case.  

The funniest thing that happened was when Sally took it to work to show it to 
the boys.  Solly got drunk and forgot it there.  Sally was fit to be tied.  They 
both rushed back.  Other than finding it sitting precariously on top of the water 
cooler bottle, it was alright.  Needless to say, the Bubbleand baby never left 
the house with Solly unless Sally went along.

Two weeks before delivery, Sally and Solly returned to their Bubble back to the 
clinic.  It was to remain there until the baby came.  With the Frankel method, 
there was no racing the clock.   No taxicab deliveries.  In fact, if the people 
at the clinic felt it was necessary, they could let the pregnancy run overtime 
to insure a healthier arrival.  The expectant parents, meantime, would tie in 
with a telephone modem and watch the two week countdown on their TV screen.  
And this is exactly what Sally and Solly did.  The final two weeks became a 
constant vigil in front of their TV screen.  They watched as their little son 
sucked his thumb, his movements and his expressions.   At times he looked as 
though he was smiling.  Finally at the end of the second week, at the 
predesignated time, the three hour countdown came on the screen.  For a 
brief few minutes Sally and Solly watched as the electronic seconds ticked off.  
Then they quietly got up nad in total silence, drove to the baby clinic.

The delivery procedures was done in a special cube-like room.  It had all the 
necessary equipment plus all sorts of emergency gear.  One complete wall of the 
room was glass and the expectant parents and whoever else cared to, could watch 
as the procedure took place.

There were two people in the room and because of their medical habit, it was hard 
to tell if they were male or female.  One of them had broken the government seals 
and had removed the eight inch diameter umbilical section.  After making all the
disconnects in back of the plate, the other person gently pulled out the finished 
baby and placed him in a shallow stainless steel sink.  When the baby came out of 
the ball, he was completely bagged in plastic.  The immediately opened the bag 
and approximately two gallons of liquid spilled out with the slimy brine drenched 
infant spilling out with it.  While one held the child by his feet to spank the
first breath of life in him, the other cut the unbilical cord that had formed 
inside the machine.  After cleaning and wrapping the squirming and screaming 
infant, he was held up for his parents to see and admire.

It’s been six months since Baby Sol was born and his parents come to the clinic 
frequently to visit him.  Actually, they could have taken him home a week after 
he was born, but they both work and it would have meant that one of them would 
have to stay home.  The way it looks now, Baby Sol will be at the clinic until 
he’s about two and a half.  In the meantime, he’ll be able to spend weekends and 
holidays at home.

In time, the Stumps will be a complete family, but there’s a few sore problems 
facing them.  It seems that the church that the Stumps go to doesn’t recognize 
“hot house” babies and will not baptize them.  Many of the universities have 
stated that they will not accept Bubble birth youngsters nor will they give them 
scholarships.  A great many of the prominent corporations have also stated 
that they will not accept Frankel applicants because the stigma creates bad PR.

As with all pioneer efforts, the Stumps and their Baby Sol will have to survive 
the gauntlet of time.  There is no doubt that Baby Sol will have to endure many 
hardships before he grows up.   Hardships that are the bitter fruit of a decision 
he had nothing to do with.  And even more tragic, he’s going to have a hard time 
understanding why.

Who’s right?   Who’s wrong?  Who knows for sure?  Evidently, Sally and Solly Stump
 do.  They just put their order in for a baby girl.

20 years later

Sally and Solly Stump kept adding to their family.  Solomon II now has forty-five
brothers and sisters.  In one year alone, 2015, Sally started ten Bubbles.  
The Stumps are now living on government assistance.

The Stumps and the baby explosion in 2015 precipitated the Bubble Act of 2016 
placing a five year moratorium on all “hot house” babies and the present limit 
of one per family.  Any excess of one child must be through natural means, for 
which there is no limit at present.  

The law also carries a mandatory twenty-five year prison term for selling or 
buying illegal fetuses.  Before this law went into effect, a prostitute by the 
name of Mary Magdalian, is on record for having initiated and selling eighteen 
Bubbles in one year.  Another young lady by the name of Spicy Plantings was 
recorded as selling fifteen in one year.  She was working her way through college.

The law, however, allows for the sale of famous people reproductive cells.  
Male cells sell at one tenth the price of a female egg and the market almost 
exclusively caters to homosexuals.  

Presently, there are a half dozen organizations who store cells for future 
cloning.  Present day laws do not allow it.  

If a couple desires to have their children at another time or another century, 
they can do so if they provide an ample trust and a fund for managing the cost 
of it.

Special genetic experiments are now being conducted by all nations to perfect 
the idea space being.  This new being will be one third the size of normal 
and have an unlimited tolerance level toward being confined in tight quarters.  
They will be sexless.  Surviving brains from aborted Bubbles are now being 
exerimentally used in space vehicle computers.

Eminent geneticist Dr. Goiter Chumly says that the answer to our overpopulated 
world may very well be in developing the pint sized human.  

Dimples Dumpling, the porno queen who threw her eight month Bubble out of her 
high rise because her husband, matinee idol Tramp Fairly, was cheating on her, 
was convicted of murder two and is now serving thirty years.

If you burn a teapot for forgetting it on the stove, you’re out one teapot.  
If you let a Bubble fetus die through neglect, you will be charged with criminal 
negligence and possible manslaughter.

Because of the severity of these laws, most expectant Bubble parents, leave their 
pregnancies at the clinic.  The risk of having them home coupled with the 
stifling cost of insurance makes them decide this way.

The largest Bubble clinic is a chain called “Immaculate Conception.”  It has 862 
facilities thorughout the world and its Orlando, Florida unit which caters to 
senior citizens, handles and manages 30,000 pregnancies and has over 29,000 
pregnancies in process and on the shelf at all times.

Today’s micro-genetics allows many advantages to prospective parents.  They can 
choose sex, color of hair, eyes, skin, and they are almost guaranteed perfect 
metabolsim and proportion.  Perfect form and beauty have become so commonplace 
and boring, that they trend today is toward ugly.

Well, that’s where we’re at twenty years later.  Can we call it progress?  
Not according to love child Mona Barely.  A product and an advocate of natural 
birth, Mona is the outspoken head of DOE (daughters of Eve), an activist group 
trying to get legislation to ban the Bubble.  Ms. Barely says, “Ya ain’t a mother 
till you’ve carried em the full nine.  I’m lucky.  I’ve got a real live mom.  
I can hug her an kiss her an talk to her.   She’s warm and friendly.  She talks 
an hugs an kisses me back.  Try an get those balls with blinkin’ lights to 
do that.”  

Joseph Vosbikian
6/24/87