You know?  I’ve been around for fifty centuries or maybe more.  Well, I don’t 
really know for sure, but I know it’s been a pretty long time.

Now, for six centuries of my turbulent life, I bled - - Lord did I bleed.  In fact,
I’m still bleeding.

Individually, I do pretty good everywhere I go, but collectively, I don’t seem to 
function properly. 

I am made up of a lot of little parts all working separately and, more times than 
not, against myself.  That’s what I meant when I said, “I’m still bleeding.”

The most confusing thing is that I’m always at odds with myself.  Part of me wants 
to go down one road, while part of me wants to go down another.  And if this 
weren’t confusing enough, the parts going down the same road are always arguing.

Now all this may not sound bad but, as time goes on, there seems to be less of me 
than there was before.

I suppose if I weren’t in such a confused state, I’d be able to put the whole 
thing together and stop destroying myself.  But, I seem to have a problem there 
also; I can’t seem to come to terms with myself on how to go about doing it.

Lately, I’ve been generating more issues to resolve than reasons to resolve them 
for – - and I’m getting awfully tired.

I just want to lay down and go to sleep.

If things keep going the way they are, I’ll disappear and the world will forget 
me.

Not that it remembers me anyway, but perhaps that’s the way it was suppose to 
be.  

Then again, maybe – - just maybe -  - I’ll get lucky and find my way.   

Can you imagine what I’d be like if I got it all together?  Look out world!  
I’d be something, wouldn’t I?

But, come to think of it and just between you and me, I am something.  

Haven’t I come this far, fractured parts and all?

Maybe what I’m looking for is just over that next hill.  It’d be a shame if I 
let go now when all I have to do is get over that next hill - - or maybe the 
next.

When God made me, He threw away the mold.  

I’m a prototype.

For better or for worse - - the choice is mine.

I AM AN ARMENIAN!


Joseph Vosbikian