There once was a lady named Betty
who used to swim in a jetty.
She swam near a whale 
and got flipped by its tail,
So she's back home eating spaghetti.


There once was a lady named Beth
who wanted to complain to the chef
Though she was quite mad
it turned out quite bad
caused the chef was totally deaf.   



Oh for the life of Riley.
How happy I would be
But, on the other hand, maybe Riley 
Would just as soon be me.   (1968)   


There’s something odd about Betty,
When she’s  mad she always gets sweaty.  
You can say she is this,
Or say she is that,
But you can’t say that she’s petty.  (February, 1984)


A very thin girl named Terry
Would look at her mirror and worry,
“Oh well,” she said,
“Least I’m not dead, 
And it’s better to be skinny than hairy.”   


There once was a lass named Dot,
Who’d scream when placed on the pot.
“You’ll get constipated,”
Her dear mother stated. 
“So, be dun wit yer business, or rot.”  


When Miss Lorna started her diet,
She asked all her friends to try it.
“But we don’t need that,
‘Cause we’re not that fat.”  
So she told them all to be quiet.”


Barbara went to Aruba,
She wanted to learn how to scuba,
She got bit on her tail,
By an oversized whale, 
So she’s back home playing a tuba. 


There was a lady named Margaret
Who got involved with a conglomerate.
She thought some of this, 
And bought some of that, 
She now owns all, and not part of it.  


There once was a lady named Dot
Who always caught colds on the spot.
But the hanky she got,
would fill up a pot,
But noone would ever see snot.

A lady named Mary did worry,
What she saw in her mirror looked scary.
She cried when she said
"At least I'm not dead,
and (boohoo) it's better to be skinny than hairy."