Dear Hovsep - 

I hate crumbs; I belong to the Sedgley Wimbleton Tennis Club.  You’re no doubt aware 
of the class of people that belong to our club.  Last week, this creep walks on to our 
court with black bermudas, brown socks, and a crummy tee-shirt.   Now I don’t think 
I’m being unreasonable, but when the air is clean, why contaminate it?  I’m for 
throwing the slob out; what do you think? 

Playing it Straight

*********

Dear Playing - 

How’s his game?  

Hovsep    


                        *********************************



Dear Hovsep - 

What kind of advice would you give a person like me?   I have a beautiful house, 
have healthy children, a personal chauffeur, a maid, and still I’m not happy.  
I feel there is more to living then just this. 

Affluent Disorder 


*********


Dear Affluent - 

Drive 40 miles away from home and walk home in your bare feet!

Hovsep  


                        *********************************


Dear Hovsep - 

I’m a handsome guy, but prematurely bald.  I’d like to get fitted up for a hairpiece, 
but I’m afraid of the repercussions.  What’s my next move?  

My fate is in your hands

Without Mane

*********

Dear Without - 

You must do something to get everyone’s attention off the hairpiece.  For instance, 
get one of your legs amputated. 

Hovsep


                        *********************************


Dear Hovsep - 

I have a relative that has a passion for the color green.  Everything from clothes to 
furnishings are green.  Do we have a problem worth worrying about?   

Red Ruby 


*********


Dear Red - 

Only if you don’t like green.

Hovsep


                        *********************************

Dear Hovsep - 

I tried this "turn the other cheek" stuff the other day and it sure backfired.   
I get into an argument with this guy at work.  He hauls off and slaps me, so I turned 
my other cheeck.  Now, he gets really angry cause he thinks I’m now making fun of him, 
and he hauls off and really belts me one.  I’m laying here in the hospital with a broken 
collar bone and jaw while I’m writing this.  What do you have to say about it?  

Bewildered


*********


Dear Bewildered - 

You used the wrong set of cheeks.

Hovsep



                        *********************************


Dear Hovsep,

You're the only one that can answer this.  What came first the chicken or the egg?

Immaculate Conception


*********


Dear Immaculate,

Neither, it was the rooster, since it was the rooster who first laid the chicken, 
who inturn laid the egg.

Hovsep