We Armenians have the most ‘gosh awful’ time communicating with one another.  And it 
isn’t because we’re ignorant.  As a matter of fact, we have more accomplished 
intellectuals and professionals per capita than any other race in the world -- leastways, we 
say we do.


Why is it then that with all this super refinement, we have so much trouble finding two 
Armenians agreeing on something?  If one Armenian describes an object as black, the 
other one will surely argue that it isn’t.  Why in heaven’s name do we have to generate 
controversy in everything we do?  Heaven knows, we’ve been hanging by our fingernails 
for centuries yet in all that time, we’ve never been able to muster enough common-sense 
to bring our act under one tent.  Why are we so divisive in nature?  The only things that 
temporarily bring us together are earthquakes and genocides.  If I didn’t know better, I’d 
say we’re genetically afflicted with an intellectual virus.  


By nature, we are vain, self-conscious, and egotistically proud.  Oftentimes, when we get 
into a heated discussion with a fellow compatriot, we seldom come to a mutual 
understanding.  No doubt, there are many among us who interpret being agreeable as 
being submissive.


Have you ever noticed that when two Armenians are arguing politics in Armenian, they 
always seem to place more emphasis on their choice of uncommonly used scholarly 
words and  enunciation rather than on what they’re actually arguing about?  And if you 
didn’t personally know these people, you would think they were literary giants even 
though neither of them nor those standing around listening to them have the slightest clue 
as to what they are actually arguing about.


The most classic example I can give regarding this problem of miscommunication is 
when an Armenian gives a speech in Armenian.  And to this end, I have yet to meet an 
Armenian who does not consider him or herself an orator.


Conversationally, though I do not read or write Armenian, I believe I speak the mother 
tongue well enough to get by, under normal circumstances.  But on the other hand, I’ve 
got to admit, I have a lot of trouble handling an Armenian giving a speech in Armenian.  
But under such circumstances, I also have to confess that I do not expose my infirmity 
because I am an Armenian and such being the case, I also laugh when others laugh, clap 
when others clap, and give standing ovations when others give standing ovations.


Speaking of Armenian oratory gems, one such incident comes to mind: Forty or more 
years ago, during the early post war period of our Vosbikian Band, we had occasion to 
play at many types of Armenian functions.  I remember one such function vividly.  It was 
a christening party being held in the basement hall of our old 16th and Oxford Street St. 
Gregory’s Church in Philadelphia.  Just when our band and the crowd were getting 
warmed up, someone suddenly came forward, stopped the music, grabbed the mike, and 
started giving a speech.  And as we later found out, this type of oratory intervention 
became an all too familiar happening during our early musical years.


As for this man’s speech, I didn’t completely understand what he was talking about 
because, as I had stated previously, his oratory was made up of scholarly fifty dollar 
Armenian words.  About the only thing I did understand was when he started highlighting 
his eloquent phrases with "sug-guyn yev uyn-bess" (meaning, like this, like that, or more 
appropriately understood in English as, nevertheless).   Well, this speech went on for a 
long time and through it all, he continued saying "sug-guyn yev uyn-bess" quite 
frequently.  And were it not for this man’s loose dentures, I would not have remembered 
his speech to this day.  Because every time he said, "sug-guyn yev uyn-bess," his loose 
dentures almost came popping out of his mouth.  But to his credit, this didn’t deter him 
from speaking, nor did it put a dent in his classic oratory.  For every time he "sug-guyn 
yev uyn-bessed" it, his right hand was always in the ready position to reseat his unruly 
dentures.  He was so completely enraptured by his oratory that, loose dentures or come 
hell or high water, he was going to finish his speech.  The fact that he had placed the 
entire christening party on hold or the fact that his captive audience was or was not 
listening, didn’t seem to bother him.  And when he finally finished, I applauded with the 
rest of them -- not out of gratification but out of relief.  


The way I see it, if we Armenians want to be realistic, we may have to come to the 
understanding that some of our problems stem from the way we miscommunicate with 
each other.  And perhaps part of these problems stem from the self-conscious vanity and 
egotistical pride that we’ve been generating for the last 2,000 years or more.


I suppose what this all comes down to is that no matter how smart we think we are or 
how many smart people we think we have, it isn’t worth a hill of beans if we have trouble 
getting our message across.  If we could learn how to talk less and in more simpler and 
more understandable terms, we might not have to wind up wearing loose dentures in 
order to get somebody’s attention.


Joseph Vosbikian